I CAN Drive 55

 So, it's official. I'm 55. 

Source

Amidst some fairly nerve-rattling upheaval, this is actually just not that riveting. I was supposed to go in for my follow-up with the OB/GYN today. I cancelled it. Given the current uncertainties, and the lack of any earth-shattering results from my bloodwork, I will move forward with Plan B - ME. 

I haven't found anything new to try - we're going old school. Common sense, if you will. I know what I NEED to do, and I know what I need to STOP doing. I am educated enough to know the things I need to start and stop eating, etc., so that's where I am starting. 

Given my age, lifestyle, and lack of certain reproductive pieces and parts, I know have a starting point: 

1. Movement

2. Building up muscle

3. Ingesting fiber, healthy fats, vegetables, fruits, and healthy proteins

4. Reducing stress

5. Keeping my brain active

How? 

Just start. 

When? 

Gradually, but starting today. 

Why? 

Because I want to. 

I am tired of myself. I am weary of the shit-tastic choices I have been making, and the mostly giving up and saying "Fuck it." 

As Billie says: 

Probably why I don't spend a lot of time in the mirror. I don't want to see who I have been being. 

This isn't about constantly chasing self improvement or anyone else's definition of what one should be. It's about getting rid of the bullshit mindframe and just living the best life I can. 

I haven't been doing that, and I'm tired of the excuses I make. 

It's been building up, and it's time. I know I say that a lot. I know I'll probably say it again. I also know that the only way out is straight through the middle, and the only one that can do it is me. 

As if I needed a reminder from beyond, at the 19-second mark, I saw Paulie and Dio ... I miss them both deeply. This was just a note to say "Keep going!" 

I'll keep you posted.