So, this is what we've come to ... I just got my debit card out of my phone wallet and laid it on top of the phone so I could call and pay a bill. Then, I proceeded to look for ... MY PHONE. Seriously.
All hype and about 2% substance ...
So, in the fray of all the other goings on, I forgot to mention that sometimes hype is just hype, and an establishment could very well serve cow-dung patties garnished with arugula and a drizzle of sesame oil and still get rave reviews.
Disclaimer - This was all written some four or five days over two weeks ago (?), but life happens and I didn't get back to finish it.
He ordered ... Well, let's not even get into that because I did not have the foresight, or aftersight to take pictures of whatever the fuck it was that we got served, some one hour and 20-ish minutes after we ordered. Lesson learned - high prices, supposed high-quality food items, combined with inflated high reviews = bullshit.
We were nothing short of flabbergasted. The only bonus was that by the time they served us, and we then waited for someone to come back, we ended up with a free meal - well, free appetizer really, since that's all we ate. Either Wagyu beef is HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY overrated, or they lack the ability to cook, OR they are serving regular foodservice meats AS Wagyu.
That all being said, it was nice to get out of the house, and go somewhere off our normal beaten path. The building and the inside were lovely. Nice quiet town. It was a good day regardless.
I am a bit down on myself that I wasn't able to take him anywhere to celebrate his Planet Arrival Day, or to get him anything ... YET. I will. It was just a down week for both of us, and I failed. I let my mood put me in a slump.
In other news, if my beloved ever gets any unemployment recompense from the state of Indiana, it will be at once a miracle, and just a bonus. Not going to stress over it any more. The DWD website is an absolute clusterfuck of confusion complete with contradicting instructions, like "The reporting period runs from Sunday to Saturday. The earliest you can report for that period is the next day Sunday, but the report must be in on Saturday ..." What the holy fuck is that?
Update: Still no unemployment. Fuck it.
Did you know that your index and ring fingers can give you a blood sugar reading that varies by some 25 points? I didn't either until just now. So, I'm sitting somewhere betwixt 117 and 142 at the moment. I could care less. I'm fine, other than being absolutely freezing in August, but I'm fairly certain it has nothing to do with diahbeetus.
My beloved made the most exceptionally perfect fajitas for dinner last night, full of white onion, green bell and poblano peppers sauteed in the cast-iron skillet on the grill, along with perfectly grilled chicken. I'm pretty sure that's what I'll be having for lunchables, too, because you have to find the joy wherever it is!
August 11
It's been a week. I suppose when you are down, and you can't really see the light anymore, the universe decides you need to have even less light. It's always darkest before the ... BLAH BLAH BLAH ... Instead of saying what I really feel, I'm about to say things that are the polar opposite of how I have been feeling, just to see if I can find any semblance of truth in them.
1. My feelings do matter
2. I have value
3. I am a good person
4. I am intelligent
Deep inside, I know these things are true. In the day-to-day, though, it becomes a challenge because I have wanted confirmation from external sources, and it's not coming.
This is me ...
You can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there ...
This is not some woe-is-me bullshit that someone can mock me for at their leisure. It's just fact. Most of it is my own fault for taking too many decades to find out that I even had a voice that I was "allowed" to use.
But then, people don't "approve," or it makes them uncomfortable when you speak your mind. They don't listen to what you are actually saying. You become someone who must be silenced by either being shut off, hung up on, or just sliced into bits by whatever words come to mind, no matter how damaging.
I used to write long, long, long letters because I could not express my feelings out loud. I didn't have the words. I used to write my feelings in endless notebooks because I didn't know how else to get out of my head the garbage that was swirling in there. Eventually, I ran out of words. (You can't tell it by my blog posts, but trust me, I did.)
I just finished watching The Good Place, which really did not develop any true substance til the last few episodes.
My takeaway, which may be NOT what was intended, is that a life without challenges and a bit of heartache, a life where you can have whatever you want, whenever you want, and for however long you want turns you into a happiness zombie that slowly loses the ability to function. Of course, I was also in a darker mood the day I watched it, so I'm painting a much more positive picture about my takeaway than I felt that day.
August 19
Good LORD it's been a month ...
We've moved onwards, forwards, and upwards from the Yellow bullshit, so that's a bonus!
I haven't had a lot of anything to say. I mean, what's the point? It wouldn't change anything to say how I feel inside out loud. It just wouldn't.
In very trivial news:
* We finished watching the entire Frasier series, start to finish. Well worth it.
* We finished watching the final season of Mayans MC (or however the hell you spell it). I have to give them props for wrapping it up pretty thoroughly in that last episode, and for making it longer, so they could do the wrapping up.
* It is utter and complete hell trying to find something new to watch.
I'm pretty sure I'll start watching what I've missed of The Morning Show during lunchables. That, or I'll watch the ends of The Blacklist. Whilst I will miss Raymond Reddington, it was due time. Really, they should have ended it shortly after they killed off Elizabeth. Just my humble opinion.
In other news, my brain is up and down, as per usual. Some days are fine. Other days are not. Some days, I eat decently healthy. Other days, nope. Blood sugar readings would indicate that I'm hovering on the low end of the Diahbeetus scale, so it's not TOO bad. However, changes are forthcoming.
In work news, I have managed to deal with the personal-world stressors by becoming SUPER-FOCUSED with work. So much so, that I cleared a backlog of massive proportions, managed to clear the majority of my to-do list, which I typically just move from day to day, and even got my email back under control this morning.
Woot.
I got some little messes cleaned up here and there in our two spare bedrooms. Have another collection of items to get to Goodwill. Now, to find someone to get rid of this piano. It served its purpose in our lives, but it's time to go. If you know of anyone who needs a piano that might need a good tuning and a bit of cosmetic repair, and can come collect it, feel free to share this with them. That is, if you KNOW me personally, and know where to find me on the socials 😎
Not a lot to report yet on the job front for him, but everything is working out, and will continue to work out. It's all good.
Other than that, the art/creativity has sort of dwindled in the face of depression, but it bubbles up occasionally. If you're bored, you can check out the stores here:
Rad_Ish_Studio
Miragi
or
My store on Creative Fabrica - Rad-Ish Designs
To my detriment, I'm not much into following the latest trends, or holidays, so there's that, but you get to see what comes from my mind, so there is THAT, too :)
I think that's enough for now!
Have a happy rest of your weekend!
xo
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